Ah, the end of Christmas. The presents are opened, the travellers have dispersed and quietness has pervaded the household.
There are so many things to reflect on post-holidays. The laughs, the food, the… fights.
My sister deserves an award for most cringeworthy Christmas guest.
It started on Christmas Eve.
After enduring a full day of her, I retreated to my room for the night. Nothing too crazy.
Then she came.
My sister barged into my room at around 11pm, crazy eyes and screeching in tow.
“WHERE ARE THEY!”
“What are you talking about? Whatever you lost, I don’t have it.”
“YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!!!! WHERE ARE THEYYYYY!!!”
She was holding an empty plastic container. It honestly looked like the packaging for a beauty blender, and I remember being shocked that she was flipping shit over something so dumb.
“MY EDIBLES!! WHERE ARE THEY!!!”
After the boring “I DONT HAVE IT!” “YES YOU DO!” arguing, she finally stopped.
She grabbed my container full of pencils and pens and emptied it onto the floor.
“Oops.”
That’s when I realized my sister was fucking psycho.
The next day I wouldn’t talk to her. I said to her face it was because she accused me of taking her shit, emptying all my shit onto the floor, then not apologizing after finding her shit.
Which is ironic considering the fact that she said I was the one who needed to get taken down a notch.
Obviously that wasn’t the last of our holiday fighting.
On Christmas Day, I managed to trigger her so much that she had to go for a 3 hour drive. I think it was because I was so done with her shit and had no reaction to her usual provocations.
On Boxing Day, when she would annoy me, I’d tell her to go for another 3 hour drive. That set her off. Like next level insanity.
She told my mom, “I’M GOING HOME TOMORROW! I CAN’T STAND TO BE IN THE HOUSE WITH HER!”
My mom, knowing my sister’s bullshit, didn’t react to it, but instead agreed to it.
Obviously, my sister retracted her statement and pretended she never said that the next day.
On that next day, the usual bullshit occurred. I said something, my sister criticizes me for saying it and attacks me, I tell her to shut up. You get the drift. Rinse and repeat.
She once again used the “I’m sorry mom but I cannot stand to be in the same house as her.”
Once again, no reaction from my mom.
Finally, my sister starts packing her bags. She takes them out to the car and makes a big loud show of it.
My mom starts getting upset, and then leaves to go to Walmart by herself.
Jumping at the opportunity to yell at me when Mom isn’t home, my sister comes charging upstairs and says “YOU’RE THE REASON WHY I’M GOING HOME. MOM’S UPSET AND THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. I WAS GOING TO HANGOUT WITH HER TOMORROW BUT I CAN’T DO IT BECAUSE OF YOU. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE A SOCIOPATH.”
The retardation astounded me. She was seriously blaming me for her leaving. I wasn’t pushing her out the door. I wasn’t making the first move in communicating with her. I made the conscious decision to leave her alone, but she kept trying to interject herself into my life. Her making this big show of leaving only makes her look bad. It was sad.
Can you tell what happens next?
My mom came home and started cooking. My sister comes upstairs to talk to her and says “Okay, mom. I’ll stay home as long as SHE STOPS BEING A BULLY.”
Bitch what?
The lack of self-awareness was mind-boggling. This was next level high-strung idiocy.
Yes, I, the younger sister, am bullying my sister who is 3 years older than me. How evil. How diabolical.
Ugh, anyway, there’s more to this story. The prank I pulled on my sister after she freaked out on me for ‘stealing’ her edibles (when in reality, they were in her bag. All. Along.) was what caused her mental breakdown. It was hilarious and her reaction was predictable. Pulling this prank on any normal person would not illicit the same response it did in my sister. It was amazing, but I need to tell it next time, because my hand hurts from typing wtf.
Contrived Fitness 